♕ douze; [text] (4TH WALL EVENT POST)(backtag-friendly forever)

[crotchroses]

. . . |

I do not have enough cigarettes for this. Mon Dieu.

For once can I have a good sleep? Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is!

[ooc: YEAH FOURTH WALL. Backtag friendly like the title says, especially 'cause I'm semi-outta commission from my surgery and I know y'all are busy.

Francis is in his apartment (dressed) and cooking. Have at it! C: ]

Comments

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

]

[ And by that I mean SPITTING BLOOD ON YOUR SHIRT AND PUNCHING RIGHT BACK. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Putain! If you don't leave I will do the most disgusting thing I can think of!

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[ That gives him a very brief moment of pause. ]

You're already the most disgusting thing I can think of. What can you do to make yourself even more revolting?

1/2

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

How can I be disgusting?! Angleterre is far more disgusting than I am, especially in the 1860's for you! I am beautiful and magnifique! Angleterre is a pile of shit someone set on fire.

But okay! I did warn you.

2/2

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

1/I don't know

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[ This is an awkwardly long kiss.

Probably because the North is frozen in horror. ]

[northaggression.livejournal.com]

[ At which point South bursts in, about to launch himself at his double.

Then he sees what's happening. ]

[northaggression.livejournal.com]

[ And goes right back out the door and quietly shuts it behind him. No way he's getting in on any of this shit. He should've just known when to call it quits, but now he's scarred for life at the image of the other America kissing a frog.

Thanks France.

Thanks. ]

DONE

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[ Annndddd we're back.

Northmerica punches France in the gut and proceeds to spit and lick various surfaces to get the taste of his mouth. ]

AHAHAHAHAHA

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

I told you! Now I want to know how you know what both of these things taste like.



You don't taste like angels either. Gunpowder and how horse shit smells and shitty canned food.

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[ His voice rises an octave as he continues his freak out. ]

OH GOD THE AFTER TASTE IS EVEN WORSE. MOLDY BALLS!

[ At which point he starts rubbing his face on the nearest couch and drooling. He's pointedly not answering the question. ]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

I hope you realize I have fucked on that couch.

Don't dodge the question Amerique, I am so very curious.

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

[ With that, he immediately flops on the floor and flails. It's almost like a combination between a seizure and one of those wavy arm guys who flop around in the air when they're filled with air. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. ]

I'M NOT ANSWERING THAT.

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Come here mon petit you will answer everything.

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

I plead the fifth.

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Not even in a sexy creepy way.

Just.

Flop.]

Was it during your revolution? Tell me everything. Make love, not war! That is what you will say in a century.

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

Why would I share anything like that with you?!

[ God he is just clearly flustered. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Who else would you share it with? I'm not going to judge you.

If you're honest with me, I'll give you food! Don't lie, Amerique.



I will know if you do.

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

Not you! All you do is judge, you lying liar! ...Besides, it's not info I'm keen on the world knowing anyway! Maybe I don't know things and I'm making stuff up. You ever think of that? Huh?

[ SQUIRMING. TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE GRIMDARK FRENCHMAN. ]

If you're going to kill me, just hurry up and do it already! At least then I'll die with my dignity!

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Non. I would not judge you on matters of romance. For the most part.

Eh, you know what I mean! If you were intimate with a man, of course I want to know. You are so young, mon petit, sometimes I forget how quickly you grew up!



Amerique... Amerique. If you are going to die today, it will not be dignified at all.

I'm kidding of course! You are so cute when you're scared.

[southrebellion.livejournal.com]

You're not getting anything outta me! If you hadn't fucked it up royally, maybe you'd've got something outta the backwater hillbilly, but now you'll never know!

[ Every version of America sucks at discretion. All of them. ]

Shit, at this point, I almost wanna run off and tell Russia just to spite you! ...Except that might creep him out and I'm not scaring him away.

[ Yes it is a day that an America likes Russia more than France. Granted, there's not a whole lot to the relationship BUT AT LEAST HE'S NOT A CRAZY COMMIE. AND HE'S KINDA. HELPFUL. MORAL SUPPORT??? Oh who knows. The broodfester tongues just make him writhe more violently in an attempt to buck France off. ]