♕ treize; [video; English/text translation]

[crotchroses]

[Some time around the evening of the 30th, there is a broadcast.

A very French broadcast. Because France is in it. You can't beat that, okay.

The lighting is dramatic and France himself seems to be sitting in a chair, leaned back against the sill of a window and the wall, so he's essentially in front of the window with his feet propped up off screen.]

... Bonsoir, Fortuna.

[He removes the cigarette from his mouth and sighs through the edifice into the open air. The smoke curls 'round. He is so dramatic you can practically hear the music playing.

No really. Where is that very very soft music coming from?

You'll never know.]

It has come to my attention that I, the nation of romance, have not tended to my duties properly. What are those, you ask?

[HE FACES THE CAMERA AT LAST. There is a confident smile on his lips.]

We are fighting to survive, I know this. But... Even so! [a wave of his hand] The human instinct--ah, even the instinct of life itself!--is not only to survive but to live well. It is my duty, my desire and obligation, to assist not only my citizens but anyone who wishes it, in this endeavor.

Je suis--Ah, I am France, and whatever you need--be it advice, friendly company, the best cooking on the planet, or just someone handsome to look at, I am at your disposal.

Not to do this--Non! It is unacceptable. [He snaps his fingers--

--he's holding a rose in bloom in addition to that cigarette. France's sleeves are rolled up look he can be mysterious too. He brings it to his face and breathes in the scent with a happy sigh.]

The brother of Europe--[his other hand waves at himself, indicating who he's talking about]--of the world--he is here for you.

[With a wave, the feed cuts off. Shortly after, a text translation is posted, word for word so everyone can read it.]

Comments

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Then I would very much loaf it if you assisted me!

[bauhinia]

Gonna rise to the occasion?

[ Wow, that's super rude, bro. He'll go fishing and bring back all the fun stuff he finds! And generously deposit it all throughout your apartment. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Oui! As only the uppercrust can!

[bauhinia]

You act like it's a piece of cake.

[ Very nice, but what're you going to do about the stuff he hid? He's so good at hide and seek, let me tell you. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

To someone of my skill level, there is no question everything will pan out.

[bauhinia]

You have to milk it for all it's worth, don't you?

[ Except HK's moving soon, so good luck with that! It'll be left behind, next door, while he goes all the way across the hall or something. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

You are just jealous you cannot cook something up to help improve the situation.

[bauhinia]

And you're wrong if you think I'm gonna rely on your 'sage' advice.

[ Wow, you'd do that to poor Macau? ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

You should if you don't want your head to wind up on a platter!

[bauhinia]

[ There's a joke in really poor taste to be made here, but Hong Kong graciously sidesteps it, thank you. ] Is that the main dish or is there more coming?

[ Good luck with that. You know, you probably don't want Macau on your bad side and Hong Kong is his precious little brother. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Eh, you don't need to 'wine' about it! That is just how things are.

[bauhinia]

[ Except there is Prank War Z looming on the horizon and Hong Kong doesn't want to incite France's wrath any more than he already has! Well, kinda. He doesn't want to incite his wrath at all, okay? A good-natured prank war between pranksters of equal or nearly equal caliber is what he needs to entertain his teenaged mind. Actual destruction of the apartment building is generally frowned upon.... ]

Okay, that was just cheesy.

[ What are you gonna do with England once you do drag him into it?! ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

I consider it all in Gouda nature.

[bauhinia]

[ He's a smart dude when he's not provoking his elders.... ]

Wow, I'm parmesan that pun off on you.

[ Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not the eyebrows. Don't get Hong Kong mixed up in that. Joining forces is another issue altogether. Because he still has a goal to blow up England couch. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

You feta let it go unless you want to make yourself look foolish!

[bauhinia]

[ You really are cool, aren't you, France? ]

I'll brie the one to decide that.

[ Don't even begin to act like you wouldn't enjoy it. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Really? I didn't think you were one to asiago the extra mile.

[bauhinia]

[ Well, that'd be cool. Maybe Hong Kong would return the favor sometime, eh? ]

You've got a sharp wit, I'll give you that.

[ That sounds like a beautiful thing. We should undertake this mission soon. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Non. I am stopping this here. There are only so many puns one conversation ought to have!

[bauhinia]

Depends on how long the conversation is. But I guess you're right, yeah.

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

I think we have reached our limit, even if we were to continue on forever. My heart could not take it.

[bauhinia]

Okay, so should we actually talk about food?

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

No I think I will have my culinary skills do the talking.

[bauhinia]

Not that part, the part where we still need ingredients.

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Various people have been growing things, I think. I know Dissimulo is more productive concerning agriculture, but it is far too late to plant new seeds.