♕ treize; [video; English/text translation]

[crotchroses]

[Some time around the evening of the 30th, there is a broadcast.

A very French broadcast. Because France is in it. You can't beat that, okay.

The lighting is dramatic and France himself seems to be sitting in a chair, leaned back against the sill of a window and the wall, so he's essentially in front of the window with his feet propped up off screen.]

... Bonsoir, Fortuna.

[He removes the cigarette from his mouth and sighs through the edifice into the open air. The smoke curls 'round. He is so dramatic you can practically hear the music playing.

No really. Where is that very very soft music coming from?

You'll never know.]

It has come to my attention that I, the nation of romance, have not tended to my duties properly. What are those, you ask?

[HE FACES THE CAMERA AT LAST. There is a confident smile on his lips.]

We are fighting to survive, I know this. But... Even so! [a wave of his hand] The human instinct--ah, even the instinct of life itself!--is not only to survive but to live well. It is my duty, my desire and obligation, to assist not only my citizens but anyone who wishes it, in this endeavor.

Je suis--Ah, I am France, and whatever you need--be it advice, friendly company, the best cooking on the planet, or just someone handsome to look at, I am at your disposal.

Not to do this--Non! It is unacceptable. [He snaps his fingers--

--he's holding a rose in bloom in addition to that cigarette. France's sleeves are rolled up look he can be mysterious too. He brings it to his face and breathes in the scent with a happy sigh.]

The brother of Europe--[his other hand waves at himself, indicating who he's talking about]--of the world--he is here for you.

[With a wave, the feed cuts off. Shortly after, a text translation is posted, word for word so everyone can read it.]

Comments

[bauhinia]

Sounds fine to me. Anything you'd like to talk about?

[ Cue Hong Kong investigating whether or not there's some way to use charred Prinny poop to make something explosive. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Cooking. There are too many interesting nations in this building not to take advantage of this and pool our resources.

[bauhinia]

Oh yeah? [ Well, this is kinda good, really. Hong Kong and France could probably make quite a duo in that department. ] I'm listening.

[ Don't blow up food! Unless it's England's. Which probably is explosive. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

How much rice do you have? If any. It does make an excellent side or base dish on which to work.

[bauhinia]

If you want rice, I'll get some. [ Crossing his arms and cocking his head at the screen. ] Anything else?

[ You better not be saying it's England's via Hong Kong, because Hong Kong will really get upset then. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Ooh! And more ingredients for bread... and flavor. If that is one thing this world lacks, it is color, whether in taste or in sight.

[bauhinia]

Yeah, no kidding. I can totally agree with you there. I mean, I don't wanna sound ungrateful, but it's just a little weird.

[ Good idea.... ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Hmm? What's weird?

[bauhinia]

There's like, barely any real food here. [ he sounds like such a brat, he's not really, he's really not!! ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

I know! Isn't it awful? I will fix this somehow, Grece and I will cook food in the kitchens and bring bread to the streets!

[bauhinia]

Well, if you need [ knead ] help, let me know, yeah? I'm all about bidding bland food farewell.

[ You know, considering the source, that sounds a little sketchy. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

I hope that offer isn't half-baked.

[bauhinia]

You should know by now, I'm always willing to roll with whatever you give me.

[ Whoa. Whoa. Does he need an adult.... ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

You butter be right about that.

[bauhinia]

Trust me, it's the yeast I can do.

[ ... slightly frightened. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Then I would very much loaf it if you assisted me!

[bauhinia]

Gonna rise to the occasion?

[ Wow, that's super rude, bro. He'll go fishing and bring back all the fun stuff he finds! And generously deposit it all throughout your apartment. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

Oui! As only the uppercrust can!

[bauhinia]

You act like it's a piece of cake.

[ Very nice, but what're you going to do about the stuff he hid? He's so good at hide and seek, let me tell you. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

To someone of my skill level, there is no question everything will pan out.

[bauhinia]

You have to milk it for all it's worth, don't you?

[ Except HK's moving soon, so good luck with that! It'll be left behind, next door, while he goes all the way across the hall or something. ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

You are just jealous you cannot cook something up to help improve the situation.

[bauhinia]

And you're wrong if you think I'm gonna rely on your 'sage' advice.

[ Wow, you'd do that to poor Macau? ]

[crotchroses.livejournal.com]

You should if you don't want your head to wind up on a platter!

[bauhinia]

[ There's a joke in really poor taste to be made here, but Hong Kong graciously sidesteps it, thank you. ] Is that the main dish or is there more coming?

[ Good luck with that. You know, you probably don't want Macau on your bad side and Hong Kong is his precious little brother. ]